(Approaches podium in floor-length (with train) Prada dress in dark blue raw silk. Adjusts microphone.)
Good evening, everyone.
Soon I'd like to announce my decision of where I'm going to do my PhD.
But first I feel I need to thank just a few people.
First, my 5th- and 6th-grade teacher, Ms. Clarke. You brought me up from the disaster of 3rd and 4th grade and did wonders for me. My 8th-grade English teacher, Ms. Diffine - thank you for dragging us through the Illiad and singing "You say Tomato, I say Tomato" in the hallway with Mr. Montante and all of us.
My English teachers at Sem - Mr. Malcolm, Mrs. Magavern, and Mrs. Fiedler. Mr. Malcolm, I always cover my mouth when I yawn ever since you threw me out of class for forgetting. Mrs. Magavern, that paper I wrote on "A Prayer for Owen Meany" for your elective class really got me hooked. Mrs. Fiedler, I think my first exposure to medieval English literature was when you read aloud the beginning of the Prologue to the Canterbury Tales. I really loved reading "Tess," but beyond the books we actually read one of the most potent modern literature experiences I have had yet was your stories of parties at Ted Hughes' and Slyvia Plath's apartment in London with Allen Ginsberg and Kurt Vonnegut and your husband. We Sem girls really appreciated your first-hand involvement with real writers and its accompanying slight craziness. Your husband's essay "Come on down to the raft, Huck Honey" hit me in college and I am lucky it didn't get me stuck reading in the last two centuries.
At Brown: Thank you Profs. Russom and Bryan. Your friendly support and almost monastic scholastic intensity made me rise to the occasion, and your recommendations must have done the trick. Also, Prof. Mira Viswanathan - I will always aspire to your scholastic creativity and integrity.
Thank you, Lucinda Rumsey, Lecturer in English at Mansfield College, Oxford for introducing me to the mystical, devotional and anchoritic works in Middle English. Also Prof. Eric Christiansen of New College, for giving me taste of the real "old school" Oxbrige world.
So, now that you all know who you are, I hope you'll be pleased to know the fruits of your lessons has brought me to do a PhD and ultimately to become a professor at some university out there. So this fall I'll begin a Master's at....
(drum roll.....)
Yay!
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